SLEEP

Sleeping Well; What You Need to Know

Sleep Requirements, Needs, Cycles, and Stages

Why can’t I sleep? Why am I so tired? If you’re like half of all adults, you may not be sleeping well and not getting the right amount of sleep. Today’s fast paced society can make sleep seem like a luxury, not a need, but this is simply not true: you need quality sleep for good health. Sleep deprivation affects your entire body and mind.

Getting good, restorative sleep is not just a matter of hitting the pillow at night and waking up in the morning. Regulated by your body clock, your nighttime journey consists of sleep cycles with specific sleep stages, all vital for your body. Understanding these sleeping needs, cycles and stages can help you get better sleep.

What happens if we don’t get enough sleep?

Many of us want to sleep as little as possible. There is so much to do that sleep seems like a waste of time. Yet sleep, an essential time of rest and rejuvenation, benefits our minds and bodies in many ways. When you continuously don’t get the amount of sleep you need, you begin to pay for it in daytime drowsiness, trouble concentrating, irritability, increased risk of falls and accidents, and lower productivity.

Sleep benefits to our mood, memory and concentration

Have you ever pulled an “all nighter” to study for a final exam, only to find that you can barely remember what you studied during the test? Sleep helps to organize memories, solidify learning, and improve concentration. Proper sleep, especially sleep where you are actively dreaming (REM sleep), regulates mood as well. Lack of sleep can make you irritable and cranky, affecting your emotions, social interaction, and decision making. Sleep deprivation also affects motor skills, enough to be similar to driving while drunk if seriously sleep deprived. Driver fatigue, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, causes over 100,000 accidents and 1500 deaths each year.

Sleep benefits to our immune system, nervous system and development

Immune system. It doesn’t seem fair. Right when you are exhausted after a stressful move or a big project at work, you come down with a cold. That’s no accident - sleep is essential to the immune system. Without adequate sleep, the immune system becomes weak, and the body becomes more vulnerable to infection and disease.

Nervous system. Sleep is also a time of rest and repair to neurons. Neurons are the freeways of the nervous system that carry out both voluntary commands, like moving your arm, and involuntary commands, like breathing and digestive processes.

Brain cellular repair, replenishment and growth

Recent studies have suggested that sleep downtime of the brain, so active during the day, may replenish dwindling energy stores that cells need to function, repair cellular damage caused by our busy metabolism, and even grow new nerve cells in the brain.

Source: American Psychological Association

Hormone release. Many hormones, substances produced to trigger or regulate particular body functions, are timed to release during sleep or right before sleep. Growth hormones, for example, are released during sleep, vital to growing children but also for restorative processes like muscle repair.

Sleep deprivation and how it affects your life

How do you know if you’re getting the sleep you need? Sleep deprivation occurs when you are not sleeping the right amount for your individual needs. Sometimes sleep deprivation is short term, like a college student pulling an all nighter. Chronic sleep deprivation often occurs in professions who work long hours, caregivers with multiple responsibilities, a concurrent sleep disorder or another disease that interferes with sleep. If you are falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow, regularly need an alarm clock to wake up, or feel the need for frequent naps during the day, it is very likely you are sleep deprived.

Other signs you may be suffering from sleep deprivation include::

• difficulty waking up in the morning
• poor performance in school, on the job, or in sports
• increased clumsiness
• difficulty making decisions
• falling asleep during work or class
• feeling especially moody or irritated

Sleep deprivation can be dangerous not only to you but others, since it affects motor skills like driving. Chronic sleep deprivation is also thought to cause long term changes to the body, which contribute to increased risk for obesity, diabetes and heart disease.

Think you’re getting enough sleep?

If you’re one of those people who think 5 hours of sleep per night is all you need, you may be surprised to learn that you’re actually sleep deprived. The BBC has a fun test to help determine your reaction time directly related to sleep.

Find out how much sleep you need

So how much sleep do you need? A rule of thumb is to consider how you normally feel after sleep. Do you feel refreshed and alert, or groggy and exhausted? If you don’t feel refreshed, chances are you’re not sleeping enough. Sleep requirements are highly individual and depend on many factors:

• your age and genetic makeup
• what you do during your waking hours, including exercise
• the quality of your sleep

Typical Sleep Needs
Group	Amount of Sleep Needed
Infants	About 16 hours per day of sleep
Babies and toddlers	From 6 months to 3 years: between 10 and 14 hours per day. Infants and young children generally get their sleep from a combination of nighttime sleep and naps.
Children	Ages 3 to 6: between 10 and 12 hours of sleep Ages 6 to 9: about 10 hours of sleep Ages 9 to 12: about 9 hours of sleep
Teenagers	About 9 hours of sleep per night. Teens have trouble getting enough sleep not only because of their busy schedules, but also because they are biologically programmed to want to stay up later and sleep later in the morning, which usually doesn’t mesh with school schedules.
Adults	For most adults, 7 to 8 hours a night appears to be the best amount of sleep.
Older adults	Older adults are also thought to need 7-8 hours of sleep. However, this sleep may be for shorter time spans, is lighter than a younger adult’s, and may include a nap during the day.
Pregnant women	During pregnancy, women may need a few more hours of sleep per night, or find that they need small catnaps during the day.

See Related Articles below for more information on your sleep requirements

Paying off your sleep debt

Your body can’t just bounce back from not sleeping enough. Sleep deprivation adds up to what is called a sleep debt. A sleep debt can range from one night’s very poor sleep to the accumulation of many days of not enough sleep. Although you won’t be getting letters from creditors if you ignore this sleep debt, not paying it off leads to decreased mental and physical health.

Paying off your sleep debt and getting your body back to normal may seem difficult or impossible with work and family responsibilities. However, making up for lost sleep and improving future sleep habits will increase your productivity and health in the long run.

Short term sleep debt

For a short term sleep debt, like a night or two of little sleep, you may just need a day or two of increased sleep to make it up. However, try not to make it a habit. Making up sleep on the weekends so you can sleep less during the week, for example, can disrupt overall sleep quality. Your sleep will be better if you go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time each day.

Long term sleep debt

If you have been chronically sleep deprived, you might need a longer time to make up your sleep debt. You may even need to take a sleep vacation, where you devote a few days to sleeping as long as needed. Although it may seem excessive at first, soon your body will revert to your optimum sleep needs

Sleep stages: the sleep cycle

How we fall asleep

How do our bodies know when it is time to sleep? We all have an internal circadian clock that provides cues for when it is time to sleep and time to wake. This clock is sensitive to light and time of day, which is why having a good bedtime routine and a quiet dark place to sleep is so important. At the same time, a chemical messenger called adenosine builds up during the day as our bodies are busy using energy. The more adenosine builds up in the brain, the sleepier you will feel. Adenosine combined with the circadian clock sends a powerful message of sleepiness to your body.

Understanding sleep stages and the sleep cycle can help you get better sleep. Your sleep is regulated by an internal body clock, sensitive to light, time of day and other cues for sleep and awakening. When you fall asleep, your sleep goes in cycles throughout the night, moving back and forth between deep restorative sleep and more alert stages and dreaming. As the night progresses, you spend more time in dream sleep and lighter sleep.

There are two main types of sleep. REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep is when you do most active dreaming. Your eyes actually move back and forth during this stage, which is why it is called REM sleep. Non-REM (NREM) sleep consists of four stages of deeper and deeper sleep. Each sleep stage is important for overall quality sleep, but deep sleep and REM sleep are especially vital.

A typical night of sleep follows this pattern:

• Sleep stages and brain activity

  Why we sleep (Scientific American) provides a detailed description of brain activity during the stages of sleep and wakefulness. Includes excellent diagrams.

  Stage 1 (Drowsiness) - Stage 1 lasts just five or ten minutes. Eyes move slowly under the eyelids, muscle activity slows down, and you are easily awakened.
• Stage 2 (Light Sleep) - Eye movements stop, heart rate slows, and body temperature decreases.
• Stages 3 & 4 (Deep Sleep) - You’re difficult to awaken, and if you are awakened, you do not adjust immediately and often feel groggy and disoriented for several minutes. Deep sleep allows the brain to go on a little vacation needed to restore the energy we expend during our waking hours. Blood flow decreases to the brain in this stage, and redirects itself towards the muscles, restoring physical energy. Research also shows that immune functions increase during deep sleep.
• REM sleep (Dream Sleep) – At about 70 to 90 minutes into your sleep cycle, you enter REM sleep. You usually have three to five REM episodes per night. This stage is associated with processing emotions, retaining memories and relieving stress. Breathing is rapid, irregular and shallow, the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, males may have penile erections, and females may have clitoral enlargement.

Importance of deep sleep and REM sleep

Deep Sleep

Each stage of sleep offers benefits to the sleeper. However, deep sleep is perhaps the most vital stage. It is the first stage that the brain attempts to recover when sleep deprived, and the strongest effects of sleep deprivation are from inadequate deep sleep. What might disrupt deep sleep? If you are caring for someone around the clock, whether it is a small infant or an elderly relative with a serious illness, you might need to attend to them suddenly in the middle of the night. Loud noise outside or inside the home might wake you. If you work the night shift, sleeping during the day may be difficult, due to light and excess noise during the day. Substances like alcohol and nicotine also disrupt deep sleep.

Maximize your deep sleep. Make sure your sleep environment is as comfortable as possible and minimize outside noise. If you are being awakened as a caregiver, make sure that you get some time of uninterrupted sleep, especially if you have had some unusually disruptive nights. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

REM sleep

REM sleep, or dream sleep, is essential to our minds for processing and consolidating emotions, memories and stress. It is also thought to be vital to learning, stimulating the brain regions used in learning and developing new skills. Most of dreaming occurs during REM sleep, although it can happen during other sleep stages as well. There are different theories as to why you dream. Freud thought that dreams were the processing of unconscious desires. Today, researchers wonder if it may be the brain’s way of processing random fragments of information received during the day. Much of dreaming is still a mystery. If REM sleep is disrupted one night, your body will go through more REM the next to catch up on this sleep stage.

Getting more REM sleep

Studies have shown that better REM sleep helps boost your mood during the day. How can you get more REM sleep? One simple way is to try to sleep a little more in the morning. As your sleep cycles through the night, it starts with longer periods of deep sleep. By the morning, the REM sleep stage is longer. Try sleeping an extra half hour to hour and see if your mood improves.

Improving your overall sleep will also increase your REM sleep. If your body is deprived of deep sleep, it will try to make that up first- at the expense of REM sleep.

STEPS TO REDUCE YOUR STAGE FEAR

Nothing will relax you more than to know you are properly prepared.
Below are 10 steps you can take to reduce your speech anxiety.

Know the room - become familiar with the place in which you will speak. Arrive early and walk around the room including the speaking area. Stand at the lectern, speak into the microphone. Walk around where the audience will be seated. Walk from where you will be seated to the place where you will be speaking.

Know the Audience - If possible, greet some of the audience as they arrive and chat with them. It is easier to speak to a group of friends than to a group of strangers.

Know Your Material - If you are not familiar with your material or are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness will increase. Practice your speech or presentation and revise it until you can present it with ease.

Learn How to Relax - You can ease tension by doing exercises. Sit comfortable with your back straight. Breathe in slowly, hold your breath for 4 to 5 seconds, then slowly exhale. To relax your facial muscles, open your mouth and eyes wide, then close them tightly.

Visualize Yourself Speaking - Imagine yourself walking confidently to the lectern as the audience applauds. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and assured. When you visualize yourself as successful, you will be successful.

Realize People Want You To Succeed - All audiences want speakers to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They want you to succeed - not fail.

Don't apologize For Being Nervous - Most of the time your nervousness does not show at all. If you don't say anything about it, nobody will notice. If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any problems you think you have with your speech, you'll only be calling attention to it. Had you remained silent, your listeners may not have noticed at all.

Concentrate on Your Message - not the medium - Your nervous feelings will dissipate if you focus your attention away from your anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience, not yourself.

Turn Nervousness into Positive Energy - the same nervous energy that causes stage fright can be an asset to you. Harness it, and transform it into vitality and enthusiasm.

Gain Experience - Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. Most beginning speakers find their anxieties decrease after each speech they give.

If the fear of public speaking causes you to prepare more, then the fear of speaking serves as it's own best antidote.

Remember, "He who fails to prepare is preparing for failure - so Prepare, Prepare, Prepare"

Personality development by Swami Vivekananda

What is personality?

“Your personality is the type of person you are, which is shown by the way you behave, feel and think”.

How a person behaves, feels and thinks, how he conducts himself in a given set of circumstances is largely determined by the state of his mind. Mere external appearance or a person’s speech or mannerisms are only fringes of one’s personality. They do not reflect the real personality. Personality development in the real sense refers to deeper levels of a person.

Necessity to know our mind:

We intend to do many things – make resolutions to cultivate good habits, to kick certain bad habits, to study with concentration, to do something with a concentrated mind. Very often our mind rebels, forcing us to beat a retreat from our efforts at implementing our resolutions. A book is open before us, and our eyes are open. But the mind has started wandering, thinking about some past events or some future plans. The same thing happens when we sit for a few minutes trying to pray or think of a divine name or form. Says swami Vivekananda: “Free! We who cannot for a moment govern our own minds, nay, cannot hold our minds on a subject, focus it on a point to the exclusion of everything else for a moment! Yet we call ourselves free. Think of it!

According to the Bhagavad Gita, the undisciplined mind acts as our enemy, whereas a trained mind acts as our friend. So we need to have a clear idea of the mechanism of our mind. Can we train it to obey us, to cooperate with us? How can it contribute to the development of our personality?

The fourfold functions of the mind:

Memory: The storehouse of memory and impressions of our past experiences presents various possibilities before the mind. This storehouse called chitta. It is in this storehouse that the impressions of our thoughts and actions – good and bad – are stored. The sum total of these impressions determine our character. This chitta, again, is what is known as our subconscious mind.

Deliberation and conceptualization: Not yet, sure, the mind examines the many options presented before it. It deliberates on several things. This faculty of the mind is called manas. Imagination and formation of concepts are also functions of the manas.

Determination and Decision-making: Buddhi is the faculty responsible for decision-making. It has the capacity to judge the pros and cons of things and find what is more desirable. It is also the discriminative faculty in a person, which enables him to discriminate between the real and the unreal, between what is to be done and what is to be avoided, what is morally right and what is wrong. It is also the seat of will-power so essential for personality development and hence this aspect of the mind concerns us the most.

“I” consciousness: Appropriating to oneself all physical and mental activity eg, ‘ I eat’, ‘I see’, ‘I talk’, ‘I hear’, ‘I am confused’, etc, is called ahamkara or ‘I’ consciousness. As long as the ‘I’ identifies itself with the undisciplined body-mind complex, human life is dictated by events and circumstances of the world; we become happy with pleasurable events and miserable with adverse circumstances. More the mind gets refined and disciplined, more does one get to know the real source of ‘I’ consciousness. Correspondingly, a person becomes more balanced and equipoised in his daily life. Such a person is no longer swayed by any event or circumstances of life.

More about the mind:

‘Our’, ‘I’ is represented by the master of the chariot; the body is the chariot and the buddhi the charioteer. The manas is sense organs-ears, skin, eyes, tongue and nose-which are the five windows in human being that give him or her the knowledge of the objects in the world.

Important activity of the mind that concerns personality development is our emotions. More the emotions are under control, healthier becomes one’s personality. Emotions can be broadly classified into two types. Viz attraction and repulsion. Love, admiration, aspiration, sympathy, joy, veneration, pride and the like indicate attraction. Hate, anger, fear, sorrow, jealousy, disgust, shame, etc., are the nature of repulsion. As long as one is entangled with the undisciplined mind, one’s personality does not really develop. Buddhi, the charioteer, serves as an effective instrument of self-development by controlling the emotions and raising the higher self from the hold of the lower mind.

Some Essential Personality Development Tips

Every man who wants to develop his personality also wants to become popular. Man’s life is a burden without popularity. If we leave aside certain action, there is not much difference between a man and an animal. Everybody can be popular if he/you takes care of these few enlisted personality development tips-

1. If you want to progress in life than honestly analyze the traits of your character.

2. Do not laugh at people when they are in difficulty or trouble other wise you will loose your personality in a moment.

3. This is a great way to develop your personality by listening everyone politely, even if their ideas are baseless or not of your interest.

4. During conversation do not keep talking yourself too much.

5. When ever somebody brings any gift for you, don’t forget to praise it. It does not matter even if you were expecting something else.

6. Make other feel that you love them.

7. Keep your moral high in case of defeat and be more polite on being victorious.

8. Solve your problems in a creative way. Try your best not to let these spoil your relations with your friends.

9. Enlist your bad habits and try to get rid of them.

10. We should not uplift our standard of living but also help others to do so. Try to remove the feeling of inferiority in others by loving them and by keeping good behavior towards them.

11. Be careful of what your say about others because others will say the same thing about us at different times and at different places and in this way form a public opinion about us.

12. Some people often have a favorite sentence which they repeat frequently. We should try and get rid and get rid of such a habit.

13. Independence increases our good qualities and personality and slavery bad qualities.

14. Independent thinking and freedom to work is the only source of progress and welfare.

15. Love is the greatest magic in this world. You can do every thing with help of love. Develop this art to improve your personality.

16. Positive attitude is of great importance in our personality. No body like people who have narrowed out look. In life only that person is considered well behaved who has positive and healthy bend of mind.

17. The real beauty of man lies not in his physical appearance but in his work and good qualities. That is why it is important that we improve mental outlook to develop our personality.

18. Every individual should develop the ability to adjust with others, because basically man is a social animal, so one can not survive by living alone.

19. Some people keep repeating a particular statement and it becomes a part of their nature. At the most you may repeat a statement twice but it you do it more than that it leaves a bad impact.

Ask some Questions from yourself.

1. Do you behave with your family members in the same manner as you behave with your master or your boss?
2. Would you like to joke even in such a situation when you that it would hurt the sentiments of other.
3. Do you take care of this that no one is hurt by you?
4. Do you take care of the feelings of those who are younger than you?

Components of Personality Development

There are immense possibilities within you to develop your personality with strong character. You must recognize and understand them. The key to success is hidden within you. The wealth you have earned is not important but what is important is the means you have adopted for acquiring that wealth. Your personality, your capabilities, your thoughts and your ideals are all very important in determining your character. We will discuss some essential components of personality Development in this article.

Be polite and speak sweetly:

Sweetly spoken words have their own advantage and it is a major component in developing our personality. Society gives respect to a person who has control over his speech and everybody wants to conserve with a person who is sweet spoken. That is why we should always try and inculcate sweet and soft spoken words in our speech.

All actions are controlled by tongue or speech. They originate from speech. So it is essential that speech is controlled by mind. A person who is not honest by speech is considered dishonest in all respects. The man who has not control over his speech can not be sure if he can exercise any control over his self while working. If a wrong thing is said in good style it also becomes effective. Then if you say a good thing in good way it has no comparison.

Keep away from lies, fraud and deception:

G.D. Broadman, a great western thinker said – sow a work and get a habit, sow a habit and get a character, sow a character and get a fortune.

It is evident that the fate of a person is formed by the work he dies, the branch of a tree bends in the direction it is diverted. If a person once entangles him self in lies and cunningness, then in spite of making countless efforts he can never get out of it and day by day he will keep moving toward downfall. We never improve our personality keeping these elements with in us or a part our habits.

Once a man resorts to lies for self gains and self protection then he gradually becomes an expert in telling lies. Lies, treachery, manipulation and fraud are such aspects of our personality which will lead to our failure, insult and defamation at every step of life. It is necessary that we get rid of these negative shortcomings with firm determination to get success in life. It is an admitted fact that bad ideas develop more rapidly as compared to good ideas. Therefore, we must try and keep ourselves away from all kinds of bad ideas and their impact.

Believe in healthy competition:

The path of all success is filed with thorns. There is no hindrance in the path of downfall, but no sooner we lift the first step towards progress we start facing difficulties. Only those people who have immense courage and enthusiasm can advance on this path. Those who have moved forward have become immortal. These who cross all the barriers, all the pains, sufferings and sorrows are also able to taste the sweet fruits of success.

To achieve success it is necessary that all the energies of body, mind and wealth are utilized in one direction only. When a nab m avoiding all temptations in life works towards one definite foal, he is bound to get total victory. When all energies of mind and soul are concentrated for a particular work then all sources become available for completion of that particular work.

The importance of positive attitude:

Positive attitude is of great importance in our personality. Many people, inspite of having sufficient talent and qualification, do not progress and succeeds in life because of their narrow outlook. Nobody likes people who have narrow outlook. In life only that person is considered will behave who have positive and health bend of mind.

The real beauty of a man lies not in his physical appearance but in his work and good qualities. The ability and achievements of a person are judged by his mentality. That is why it is important that we improve our mental outlook. By adopting positive outlook we can get rid of mental dissatisfaction. This change will help you to contribute a lot in making your relations better and sweet with people as well as your personality will bright all over as like the stars in the sky.

Anger and irritation are your enemies:

To be angry is part of human nature. Probably there is no man in this world who has never been angry for some or the other reason. But some people are such who become temperamentally angry. People who get angry and irritated habitually do not realize that this habit of theirs will be a hindrance in path of their personality development and they will become their own enemies.

Anger results in foolishness and insanity. There is a saying that hot temper is the main obstacle in completion of delicate genes of the body. Sometimes delicate tissues and veins even get burnt, outwardly we do not come to know that damage has been caused but we destroy many hidden treasures in our body in fire of anger.

Spare time for social service:

If we want to be recognized in the society and want to reach the pinnacle of success, we should not keep out self aloof from society. Our deep feelings and responsibility towards society makes us good and responsible citizen of the society we live in. The more we work for society and the more we remain connected with it, the more famous we will become the fame will enhance our personality and enthusiasm. Always remember that society is ours. We need it. Live not only for yourself but for the society.

Develop your creative power:

Our creative streak and positive propensity can pay us dividends. One who is engaged in constructive activity of one or the other kind is always happy. All men should channelise their energies in creative work. Be it agriculture, physical labour, daily wager, craftsmanship, office work, domestic chores or social work. Breach in creativity is a breach in peace and happiness

Know the value of time:

Every moment of our life is a golden moment. The door of progress and development remain open for the person who knows to utilize and make best use of these moments. He not only pushes away all the failures and gets victory over all setbacks and obstacle but also becomes very popular in society dye to his punctual behavior. On the other hand worthless pursuits or pass these moments carelessly, face depression and disappointment on all sphere victims of vicious circle of failures.

Types of Personalities

Well known behavioral scientists and psychologists have identified many types of personalities. We shall concentrate on the nine types of personalities. These are perfectionists, Helpers, Romantics, Achievers, Asserters, Questioners, Adventures, Observers and Peacemakers. They have their own unique personality traits that are briefly analyzed below.

The perfectionist:

Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious and principled. They strived to live up to their high ideals. They can be got along well with if you take your share of the responsibilities so they do not end up with all the work. You need to acknowledge their achievements. It is better if you tell perfectionist that you value his\her advice. Perfectionists also expect others to be fair and considerate, as they are.
A perfectionist would like to be self disciplined and be able to accomplish a great deal. He would like to work hard to make the world a better place, having high standards and ethics. They are reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything they do.
Example: The great Indian software business leader Narayan Murthy falls in the category of a perfectionist.

The Helper:

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s need. That cab be got along well with if you tell then you appreciate them. They would expect you to share fun time with them. They would like you to take interest in their problems; through they will probably try to focus on yours. They want you to know that they are important and special to you.
A helper likes to be able to relate easily to people and make their live better. They are generous, caring and warm. They are sensitive to and perspective others feelings. They are fun-loving and generally possess a good sense of humour.
Example: Mother Teresa is one such personality who was sensitive not only to the needs of few people around, but for the millions of poor in the country.

The achiever:

Achievers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal-oriented. An achiever gets along well with his coworkers. He welcomes honest, but not unduly critical or judgment harmonious and peaceful. You cannot burden with negative emotions. He likes being optimistic, friendly and upbeat, and likes to provide will for his family. He is happy if he stays informed, knowing what’s going on.
Achievers face problems when they have to put up with inefficiency and incompetence. They are gripped with the fear of failure or of not being seen as successful. They keep on struggling to hag on to their success.
Example; Sachin Tendulker the greatest batsman, and Kapil Dev, the greatest all rounder, fall in the category of achiever- always full of energy to achieve something big.

The Romantic

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
A romantic would like to get plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to them. He expects you to be a supportive friend or partner. If you care for him you respect him for his special gifts of intuition and vision. He would like to establish warm connections with people, admire what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life; he would like to be creative, intuitive, and have a sense of humour. He is unique and is seen as unique by others.
Example: The great Indian painter MF Hussain falls in the type of romantic personality. He has a sensitive and heart and romantic personality for his creativity.

The observer:

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted curious, analytical, and insightful.
An observer likes to be independent, not clingy. He prefers to speak in a straightforward and brief manner. He desires and needs time alone to process his feelings and thought and may doubt your sincerity if you intensely welcome him. He dislikes intrusions in his privacy. He remains calm in a crisis.
An observer faces a problem which he/she is not sure of the situation and is unable to understand the relation between cause and effect. He gets disturbed if his integrity is doubted.
Example: The great economist Noble laureate Amartya Sen is one such observer personality, who is curious analytical insightful.

The Questioner:

Questioners are responsible and trustworthy. They value loyalty to family, friends, groups and causes. Their personality rage broadly, from reserved and times to outspoken.
A questioner likes to be direct and clear. He likes others to listen to him carefully. You are required to reassume him that ‘everything is ok between us’ and not judge him for his anxiety. He is committed and faithful to family and friends, responsible and hardworking compassionate towards others, direct and assertive.
Example: The out spoken Bollywood actress and former Rajya Sabha member Shabana Azmi, may fall in this category. She can raise relevant questions in all platforms.

The Adventurer:

Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.
An adventurer likes to get companionship, affection and freedom. He likes engaging you in stimulation conversation and laughter and expects you to appreciate his grand visions and listen to his stories. He is optimistic and do not let life’s troubles get him down. He is spontaneous and free-spirited.
Example: The energetic NRI businessman, Vijay Mallaya, may be categorized in the adventurer type of trying something new that was not done by any Indian earlier.

The Asserter:

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self- confident and protective.
An asserter likes to stand up for you and is confident, strong and direct. He is vulnerable and shares his feelings and at the same time acknowledges your tender, vulnerable side. He likes to get space to be alone, He is curious to hear about his own contributions, but do not flatter him. He likes being independent and self-reliant, able to take charge and meet challenges head on. He is courageous, straightforward, honest, supporting empowering and protective of those close to him.
Example: The former Chief Election Commissioner T.N. Seshan, the straightforward bold officer, is the best Indian example of an asserter.

The Peacemaker:

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

A peacemaker does not like expectations or pressure. If you want him to do something, how you ask is important. He likes to listen and be of service, but do not take advantage of this. He us very easy to deal with if given time to finish things and make decisions. He likes a good discussion but not a confrontation. He is very caring and concerned about others, He is a good mediator and facilitator; he heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, is non judgmental and accepting.
Example: The former Indian Prime minister Atal Bhihari Vajpayee has the peace maker type of personality.

Art of Facing Interviews

The most commonly used tools for the selection process is the personal interview. An interview is a conversation with a purpose between two persons or groups of persons. They are done not only for the purpose of recruitment or selection for a post, but also to gather information from someone important.
Even through it is a two-way traffic, it is mostly seen that the employed is the one who asks questions and the interviewee is supposed to reply. Different purposes of a personal interview are – to rate a candidate for his physical appearance, education achievement and qualification, level of intelligence, background, interests and aptitude, There are different types of interviews, like:

1. Informal Interview: This is the type of interview that is conducted in an informal setting. The interview can be held at the residence of the managing director for the post of a legal consultant. Similarly, many senior level job assignments are finalized during dinner at some hotel or restaurant.
2. Formal interview: This is the interview that is conducted most commonly for recruitment of personnel. In such interviews the candidate is called for an interview at a particular location and time. The candidate is required to answer questions asked, based on the outcome of which he is rated for selection.
3. Patterned Interview: To maintain a uniform approach there are few interviews where a set pattern of questions are asked. In such patterned interview the choice of person conducting the interview is restricted and the selection criteria are also limited within a set frame.
4. Depth Interview: In such a interview, questions are based upon a specific area of the interviewee’s interest. In a depth interview the person has to answer in detail. The academic competence and knowledge is tested thoroughly in such type of interviews.
5. Stress Interview: For the selection of supervisor and executive positions, it is of equal importance to judge the suitability of individual competence based on stress endurance along with knowledge and intelligence. Therefore a candidate is required to appear for the stress interview. In such and interview a person is required to respond to a tress situation and the assessment is done on the basis of the response.
6. Group Interview: When we are required to perform a task in a group the selection is done in a group interview and the candidate along with a group is asked to solve a particular problem. The performance and behavior is, however, assessed and rated individually.
7. Panel Interview: For a senior level position selection, a panel of experts selects the candidate.

Personality and behavior traits are very important for performing well in interviews. Interviews, at times, become a hurdle between success and failure for persons just out of college. You have to present your competence for a particular job within a short period of fifteen to forty five minutes. The candidate is assessed for his behaviour, mannerism, attitude, IQ, stress enduring, capability, general awareness, knowledge of the subjects studied and mental frame of mind to take up the position for which he/she has applied. For a young student it is important that he prepares well for crossing this hurdle. He must be ready for the competitive written examinations as well as for the face to face interview

Listed below are a few interview do nots and usual reasons for failure in interviews that every candidate should keep in mind:

• The candidate should not lack self-confidence or appear shaky.

• The hello-effect of the candidate should be impressive to the interviewing board.

• Poor communication skills are an absolute put-off.

• Body language must not reflect negativity.

• The candidate must not lack the relevant subject knowledge.

• There is a difference between self confidence and over confidence. Even if the expectation level of the candidate is high, he should not exhibit arrogance.

• The candidate’s background and family history are important.

• The candidate must have reasonable amount of Knowledge about the company and the industry in which he has applied for employment.

• The candidate must not be improperly dressed or lack a sense of hygiene.

• If the interview board is harsh, the candidate must not lose his or her cool during the interview.

• The candidate must give a focused reply.

• Also, at time, the number of candidates is very large and board members are unable give sufficient time to each candidate for answering. Thus, answers should be as precise as possible.

10 Simple rules of Interview

Rule I-Behave as you are: A person facing an interview is generally nervous and does not behave as his or her normal self. He tries to follow the set guidelines that he has been told and in the process becomes very stiff and unnatural. Do not act, be yourself.

Rule II-Reach the interview site well before time: The early arrival at the interview venue will give you time to understand the office culture, the local etiquette and the expectation of the office and a chance to adapt to the particular environment. Reaching in advance also gives you the time to make yourself comfortable and more presentable by giving you time to freshen up. The settling time will help you to handle difficult situation properly.

Rule III -Try to know the company: The interview board expects you to know what the company is doing and what the industry norms the company is in are. Prepare from all sources such as the internet, company brouchers and other sources, if any. Try to find out the company’s area of operation and expansion /diversification plans for which they are recruiting people.

Rule IV-Be focused: The purpose of your appearing for the interview is that you are looking for a job. The questions asked by the board will at times derail your prepared answers and will take you to a different direction. Try to be focused about your strength areas and the requirements of the company concerned. Try to be as short and straight as possible while dealing with a controversial issue.

Rule V-Behave as if you are already in the job: When a person applies for the job of a front desk manager, the interview board will like to see him in that pretext and would judge him keeping that person in the mould of a manager. If he starts feeling and behaving like a manager, half the work is done.

Rule VI-Be genuine and honest: Never lie to the board members. It is very easy for them to judge the truth or falsity of any statement or claim. Besides, everyone would like to reward your honesty.

Rule VII-Never answer question about which you are not sure: If you are honest in staying that you do not know the answer, people will appreciate it more than if you guess something absurd.

Rule VIII-Wish all members before and after the interview: It has been noticed that many candidates do not feel it necessary to wish the members and many others skip it due to nervousness. It does not give a good first impression of the candidate if he does not wish the board members.

Rule IX-Mind your body language: It is extremely important to mind your body language in the interview as you meticulously plan the words you utter.

Rule X-Anticipate the probable questions:

When we are to appear for an interview we do have a clue as to what questions the board will ask. Say, a person has an education gap of two years mentioned in his CV. The board would like to know what the candidate was doing during that period. Similarly, a housewife applying for a teacher’s post will in all probability be asked about her routine for the day. Well-prepared answers for irritating questions will help you fare better in the interview.

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking

Fundamentals of Effective Speaking

1. Acquiring the Basic Skills

• Take heart from the experience of others
• Keep your goal before you
• Predetermine your mind to success
• Seize every opportunity to practice

2. Developing Confidence

• Get the facts about fear of speaking in public
• Prepare in the proper way
• Predetermine your mind to success
• Act confident

3. Speaking Effectively the Quick and Easy Way

• Speaking about something you have earned the right to talk about through experience or study
• Be sure you are excited about your subject
• Be eager to share your talk with your listeners

Speech, Speaker, and Audience

4. Earning the Right to Talk

• Limit your subject
• Develop reserve power
• Fill your talk with illustrations and examples
• Use concrete, familiar words that create pictures

5. Vitalizing the Talk

• Choose subjects you are earnest about
• Relive the Feelings you have about your topic
• Act in earnest

6. Sharing the Talk with the Audience

• Talk in terms of your listeners' interests
• Give honest, sincere appreciation
• Identify yourself with the audience
• Make your audience a partner in your talk
• Play yourself down

The Purpose of Prepared and Impromptu Talks

7. Making the Short Talk to Get Action

• Give your example, an incident from your life
• State your point, what you want the audience to do
• Give the reason or benefit the audience may expect

8. Making the Talk to Inform

• Restrict your subject to fit the time at your disposal
• Arrange your ideas in sequence
• Enumerate your points as you make them
• Compare the strange with the familiar
• Use visual aids

9. Making the Talk to Convince

• Win confidence by deserving it
• Get a Yes-response
• Speakin with contagious enthusiasm
• Show respect and affection for your audience
• Begin in a friendly way

10. Making Impromptu Talks

• Practice impromptu speaking
• Be mentally ready to speak impromptu
• Get into an example immediately
• Speak with animation and force
• Use the principle of the Here and the Now
• Don't talk impromptu--Give an impromptu talk

The Art of Communicating

11. Delivering the Talk

• Crash through your shell of self-consciousness
• Don't try to imitate others--Be yourself
• Converse with your audience
• Put your heart into your speaking
• Practice making your voice strong and flexible

The Challenge of Effective Speaking

12. Introducing Speakers, Presenting and Accepting Awards

• Thoroughly prepare what you are going to say
• Follow the T-I-S Formula
• Be enthusiastic
• Thoroughly prepare the talk of presentation
• Express your sincere feelings in the talk of acceptance

13. Organizing the Longer Talk

• Get attention immediately
• Avoid getting unfavorable attention
• Support your main ideas
• Appeal for action

14. Applying What You Have Learned

• Use specific detail in everyday conversation
• Use effective speaking techniques in your job
• Seek Opportunities to speak in public
• You must persist
• Keep the certainty of reward before you

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Fundamental facts you should know about worry

1. If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the futures. Just live each day u ntil bedtime.
2. The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
   1. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
   2. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
   3. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."

Basic techniques in analyzing worry

1. Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
2. After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
4. When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
   1. What is the problem?
   2. What is the cause of the problem?
   3. What are all possible solutions?
   4. What is the best solution?

How to break the worry habit before it breaks you

1. Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers."
2. Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happines.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
4. Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
5. Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
6. Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.

Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness

1. Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
2. Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
3. 1. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
   2. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
   3. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
4. Count your blessings--not your troubles!
5. Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
6. When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
7. Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."

The perfect way to conquer worry

1. Prayer

How to keep from worrying about criticism

1. Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
2. Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
3. Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirits high

1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work.
3. Learn to relax at home.
4. Apply these four good workings habits:
   1. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
   2. Do things in the order of their importance.
   3. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
   4. Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
5. To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
6. Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

How to develop your sixth sense

Everyone has it.
Everyone is aware of their five basic senses, seeing, feeling, smelling, hearing and tasting. What everyone is not so well aware of is their sixth sense, that sense of otherworldliness, a connection to something more and greater than their physical senses are able to perceive.
This is the entrance to the world of the unseen encounter, the unheard communication, the unfelt touch of someone from the spiritual world trying to make a connection with someone in the physical body.

Nothing to fear.
The sixth sense is a part of everyone whether or not they like it. It is a normal part of the human psyche and not abnormal or reserved for special or gifted persons. Thanks to the media and to religion, it has been misrepresented and as a result, people associate the spirit world with fear and trepidation. A person has more to fear going to their car in the parking lot after work than from those souls in the spirit world. Contrary to the media’s misrepresentations, those in spirit do not have physical bodies to carry out evil deeds like some thug in a parking lot.

It is scientific.
Every human being is equipped from birth with what they need to communicate with the spirit world from where they came, and to where they will eventually go when they give up their physical body. This is the same scientific phenomenon that works in the transmission of electronic information such as the television or radio. These require that you tune into a particular band or frequency to get the program that you want. The sixth sense is similar in that it requires tuning in to another person’s frequency or to the frequency of someone in the spirit world. Electronic tuning is done through electronic means that is mechanical in nature. Spiritual tuning is done through the brain with mental focus, intent and desire being the means.

Mental tuning.
Although, tuning by mental focus is inconsistent and capricious, while electronic tuning is reliable, consistent and tangible, it is no less scientific. The difference being that psychic and medium communication is in its infancy as far as future development goes. It has a scientific basis for its manifestation because all things that happen work according to scientific laws, even by laws that haven’t been discovered yet. Consider technology that we take for granted, anyone that would have predicted one hundred years ago where we would be today, would have been laughed to scorn. So it is with mediums and communication with the so-called dead, it is a science in its infancy.

You’ve already had contact.
One doesn’t have to be a practiced medium or an ordained saint to make contact with the souls from the spirit world. At one time or another, everyone that is alive today has seen them, heard from them, been touched by them, smelled them, either while in the waking state or through a dream. Those that can’t recall having the experience are not aware of the signs or, because of fear and ignorance programmed through religion, are in denial. This is the first step in development of your sixth sense, recognizing the times that you have been touched by those in the spirit world.